Missing My Grandmother

Dearest Grandma;
Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of your passing.  It was a grand, round number of age that you chose... the infinite number of 88.  And I say infinite, because I still feel you, and within my heart you and your memories live on and live strong.

| find myself doing things that you enjoyed so much, such as watching Coronation Street and leaving music on all day just to sing along with it while I do housework.  I always, always tune in to David Suzuki when the time presents itself.  Oh my, would you believe I even watch the news now and again?  I have yet to immerse myself in a proper game of Yahtzee or Scrabble however... but that is coming, I assure you! 

Your passion for all growing things has grown within me also, and I am happy to say that I have attempted planting my first garden this year which includes more than just flowers... although the rainy weather hasn't done much to help it along (yet)!  I know what you would say, "Don't you fret about it sweetheart, there is always next year!" 

Saoirse has carried your namesake well, there are so many bits and pieces of you within her.  She has your serenity, the same twinkle in her eyes, the same complete and utter glee about the simplest things.  She loves to cuddle, and she loves to hold hands.  The first thing she does every morning when she wakes is reach for me and smile into my eyes.  There is no better way to start the day than this!  I recall the last few days with you, and holding your hand... how if even for a moment I stepped away you would awaken and ask into the room, "Where is that hand?"  Right here, Grandma,  it's right here.

I will have precisely one half of a bottle of beer in your honour, and as you would have said, I will be "keeping it LEVEL..."  :)

I will enjoy a meal in your honour, just as you imagined to enjoy with Derek and I in those final days, confined to your bed but expressing in great detail the fine restaurant the three of us were in, and the delightful meal that we shared together.  I will recreate that meal that we 'shared' by your bedside, in that grand restaurant, Grandma.  And I will savour every morsel.

Although I know your Spirit dances strong, I miss you so, so much.  Thank you for your love, your inspiration, your fine example.

And that bag of Nahappi tea that I never got to you in time... it still makes me cry, but tomorrow I will open it for the first time.  

We will delight in it together.

Aho!  xoxoxo

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